Life at full capacity
My email accounts hit full capacity.My cell phone keeps warning me that there is no more storage space.
My Dropbox account is 98.3% full.
These technological maxes are symbols of the fact that my life is at full capacity. As you lovely readers saw in my previous post, the day begins for me at 5am and there isn't much in the way of free time until I am able to fall into bed.
Everyone tells you that college is going to be this amazing time for learning, personal growth and discovery. They joke about extreme homework loads and late nights. Nostalgic stories of life-long friends and campus spirit bring a reminder of all the memories current college students should be making.
Then you hit full capacity.
No one warned me of this.
Getting up early to be productive and work on good habits for my future career. Going to work before class. Responding to emails during lectures. Rushing from campus to my internship with no time for lunch. Having a few precious hours to do photo shoots, homework, be involved at church and attempt to sleep.
No one told me about what it would feel like to be so close to being done and being a complicated mixture of terrified, excited and confused. Feelings of disinterest creep up from within, wishing to be finished with classes, but they are followed by a throat clenching realization that completion only means job searching.
Failure is an ever present fear. But failure is not an option.
Welcome, to full capacity.
Somewhere in the midst of these emotions and full inboxes there has grown an appreciation. A liking. Living life at full capacity has been stressful and disheartening at times, but it has taught me much. Suddenly this college gal is more aware and more engaged than ever before. I am thankful for those moments of free time, am proud to look back on my day and see that things were actually accomplished, am throughly enjoying my job and internships, and am blessed by friends and family.
Weekends are marked by church, time with my boyfriend, trying to see friends and family, running errands, cleaning my apartment, and whatever else didn't fit into the regular week. Needless to say, there isn't much downtime then either.
As much as the rushing wears me out, at the end of the day I know I am getting more out of life by living at full capacity.
Why didn't anyone tell me about this?
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